Hello. My name is Thunder. I have a Footwear Fetish.
I love all types of human footwear. I love slippers. I love tennis shoes. I love clogs. I love dress-up shoes. I love boots.
No, I do not want to wear these types of footwear. What I want is to carry each one of them very proudly, softly, and carefully in my mouth, then smother it in kisses, then chew on it gently, and finally lie right next to it. I must have some type of footwear next to me when I take my naps.
I love mom's shoes. I love Annie's slippers, Emily's slippers, Emily's boots, Sarah's boots, mom's slippers, and Marie's shoes.
And I found out today I absolutely and completely love Miriam's slippers.
I admit my Footwear Fetish problem here because today I got caught chewing up Miriam's slipper.
Here's what happened:
Today as I visited some of my human-friends, I found Miriam's slippers behind her bedroom door. I carefully carried one of them from behind the door into the living room. I tried not to prance so proudly and loudly so not to arouse any suspicion from Mom as to what I was up to.
The slipper was not at all heavy, so it made carrying it all the way to the living room undetected very easy.
I could see that Miriam took great care in her slipper. It was so soft. It had little pink flowers on the top. It tasted so flowery and sweet and perfumy when I started giving it kisses. And more kisses. And more kisses.
Soon the kissing turned into biting. And biting. And more biting. I bit the pretty pink flowers. I bit the leathery sides of the slipper. I bit the bottom of the slipper. I couldn't stop. I had to keep biting that slipper until nothing was left.
Then I was caught. "Aha!" exclaimed Mom. "Now I have proof you are the one carrying my slippers and shoes all over the house and chewing on them! What is Miriam going to say when she sees her slipper all chewed up? She needs to wear her slippers in these cold Wisconsin days to keep her feet warm! No more slippers for you!"
I just couldn't stop myself. I had no self-control. I had to keep eating up her slipper!
My name is Thunder. I have a Footwear Fetish.
Thought for you Humans:
What is your own guilty pleasure?
Thunder, I know another one of your kind who has a shoe fetich. Although it goes even deeper. Other clothes are also at risk. Maybe you 2 should go for help together.
ReplyDeleteMargie
Thunder, I used to have a headware fetish, but then several years of wearing a veil cured me of it. I recommend that you try chewing on footware nonstop until you, too, are cured. :)
ReplyDelete