I got my very first report card the other day. My human friends--Stella, Miriam, AJ, and Marie--were the ones who thought it would be a great idea to create a character assessment of the first six months of my life. Here is my report card:
Character Trait Grade Comments
Obedience A Responds with alacrity (especially to "treat")
Courtesty A+ Includes all in his leaps and licks attention
Hygiene B+ Regularly washes ears and face in Water Dish
Neatness C+ Does not return toys to Toy Box
Concentration A Fiercely attentive to doors and food
Friendliness A+ Tongue and tail always say, "I like you."
Effort A+ Aims high (especially to reach the table)
Perseverance A+ Relentless in games of Tug
Comments
Thunder's area of greatest improvement is his response to discipline regarding the begging for food at the table. He manifests good self-image and future leadership potential in the canine world.
My Rebuttal
Regarding the C+ in Neatness: I don't see the importance of having to put my toys in the Toy Box. Mom does that for me every day. And when she does, I just take them out so I have them ready for playtime. What is the purpose of putting away toys when I want to play with them?
Regarding the B+ in Hygiene: The grade I was given is a bit low. Not only do I clean my face and ears in Water Dish, but I also smell very good. Everyday I go outside and roll in dead squirrel, dead bird, or dead frog. I'll even roll in other animals' feces. So a dog with clean ears, clean face, and who smells really good ought to receive at least an A in this category.
Thought for you humans:
What honest assessment can you give yourself? What are your strengths? Your weaknesses? How can you make your strengths even stronger?
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